She checks her bank balance the way some people check the weather, several times a day and with a little dread. Rent is due on the first. A student loan payment comes out mid-month. Her car needs tires. Her paycheck from a first job, or from two part-time ones, does not quite cover it all.

Money pressure is one of the quiet weights of young adulthood. For women in their late teens and twenties, it often arrives all at once: tuition and loans, a first lease, a first credit card, a job that pays less than she hoped, and friends who seem to afford brunch and concerts without thinking twice.

It is not only stressful. For some, it becomes the soil that depression grows in.

Shame makes it heavier

Money problems tend to come wrapped in shame. She may feel she should have budgeted better, picked a different major or skipped that apartment. She may hide overdraft notices from her parents and turn down invitations with made-up excuses so nobody knows she cannot afford to go.

That secrecy isolates her at exactly the moment she needs people. Over time, signs of depression can creep in:

• Constant worry that keeps her up at night
• Avoiding the mail, email or bank app altogether
• Pulling back from friends to hide what is going on
• Feeling like a failure, or like her family would be better off without the burden of her
• Thoughts that there is no way out, or thoughts of suicide

Those last feelings deserve to be taken seriously. Money trouble is hard, but it is rarely the whole story, and it can be worked on one piece at a time. A person in a dark place needs support now, before the bills are sorted out.

Saying it out loud

Telling someone about money trouble can feel harder than telling them about sadness. It might help to separate the two. She does not have to confess every balance to say that she is struggling.

She might tell a parent, sibling or friend that money has been really tight and it is getting to her, more than she has let on. If she has been having thoughts of suicide, she can say that too, plainly. The money can be a later conversation. Her safety is the first one.

Care does not have to be expensive to start. Some options cost little or nothing:

• 988, free by call or text, any time
• Campus counseling centers, which are often covered by student fees
• Employee assistance programs, which many employers offer at no cost
• Community mental health centers, which often charge on a sliding scale based on income
• A parent's health insurance plan, which many young adults can stay on into their mid-twenties

How parents and friends can help

Parents sometimes assume a grown daughter would ask if she needed help. Many will not, because they want to prove they can make it on their own. Asking gently can open the door.

Try asking how she is managing with rent and bills, without judgment. Make it clear that her well-being matters more than any number. If she seems low, ask directly whether she has been feeling hopeless or having thoughts of suicide. Asking does not make it more likely. It shows her that nothing is too heavy to bring to you.

If she says yes, stay calm and stay with her. Help her call or text 988 or find a counselor. If she is in immediate danger, call 911.

Friends can help in smaller ways too. Suggest a walk instead of an expensive dinner. Cook together at home. Make it easy for her to say yes to company without worrying about the bill.

One step at a time

Later, when she is steadier, the money itself can be worked on piece by piece: a simple budget, a call to a loan servicer about payment options, a conversation with a nonprofit credit counselor. Those steps matter. But they come second.

A young woman is worth far more than her account balance. The people who love her can help her remember that, and help her get to care while she works through the rest.

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time. In an emergency, call 911.